Vegas #5: not proud, but satisfied

Well, this might be sort of a weird update. I'm going to attempt to refrain from complaining because the truth of the matter is I'm very lucky to even be up any money at all on this trip. I'll start with updates of yesterday.

Started out really well in the $1.5k WSOP event. Got my stack to just under 6k (starting chips 3k). I probably hit more hands in the first level than I have in the previous 5 tournaments, but was only able to make small pots each time. Then, I get all-in with QQ vs. 67 against a guy I showed a big bluff to early on, and of course, he turns a straight. I would have been at almost 9k if this holds, instead I'm almost back to my starting point. I grind for a while, got unlucky a few times (guy caught an A on a flush draw in a big pot just before the break). Then a little while after the break I raise Kc9c on the button and the worse player at the table thinks a bit and calls in the big blind. I know he's got an absolute piece of junk and even he almost folded. Flop is KT2. I'm not worried about a bigger K as he would have instacalled my raise with a bigger K. I bet $1000 of the $3800 I still have left. He puts me all-in and it's a pretty easy call for me, he could have a ton of different hands. Turns out, he has T2. It holds and I'm knocked out again by a donkey again with a donkey hand. 24 and 2T....guess I can't beat a hand with a 2 in it.

I went to Wynn in the evening and got into a reasonably tight, decent 10/20 NL game. I honestly did not play very well. I think I've had to say this way too many times this week. I don't feel like rattling off all the hands, but even a half-ass straight-forward player would have probably been up with my hands. A good player could have probably made at least 3k. I ended 4k down. I made some decent bluffs, but also a ton of stupid idiot donkey calls. Total calling station. One hand I was lucky not to get stacked: I raise JcTc and get two callers. Flop is Qc8h3c. So, gutter and flush draw. I bet $300 and an old guy raises me to $600. I just call and turn the 9 for the nut straight. I check, he bets $1000, and I raise to $3000. He tanks a while and calls. River is a horrible 8c, pairing the board, and bringing in my flush which I don't want (though I doubt he's on a flush draw). But, I still jam all-in for over $6k. This is a horrible play and I'm so lucky I wasn't instacalled by a full house. I'm not sure what he had (just a Q I guess), but my bet pushes him off and he folds. Not only did I risk my whole stack against a very probably set, but I also lost out on $2-$3k in value I could have been called on the river. Terrible. I should have bet $2k (or even checked) and folded to a raise from this particular opponent.

The one thing that DID go really well yesterday was my bathroom breaks! These are the only two times I did this the entire trip, but both bathroom breaks I took $50 to the Big 6 wheel that is on the way to the bathroom. Both times I put $20 on both the 20:1 and 5:1 odds, and $10 on one of the 40:1 odds spots. First break I hit the 20:1 for $400, 2nd break I hit the 40:1 for another $400 (cuz just a $10 bet). Haha, crazy. From the small amount of gambling I did while out here I'm up money, not sure how much, but somewhere under $1k. I've also realized I just don't like craps much, probably won't bother with it anymore unless I'm drinking with my buddies or something (which isn't often). Gambling really is for suckers, and I hate feeling like a sucker.

My thoughts on this trip are weird. Overall, I am up 19k at the moment including tournaments (which I'm down around 10k in) and $500 online in a couple sessions I've goofed around with in bed before I go to sleep. I've been sort of a "one hit wonder" here, being those two big pots on my 2nd day here. Other than those I've won about 3 pots between $4k - $7k. But, besides those 5 pots (which isn't a lot of good hands with all the cards I've played), I've been pretty damn card dead. I have lost to so many runner flushes with good hands it's insane. I'm just continually having to make big folds all over the place and it's getting tiresome and I'm starting to turn into a passive calling station.

Here is an interesting stat: out of all the tournaments and cash games I've played, I have flopped ONE freakin' set. Normally, odds tell you that you will flop a set for every 7 pairs or so. I'm not sure how many pairs I've seen flops with (the vast majority in raised pots, often huge raises in cash games but easy calls because we're so deep), but it's definitely way over 100. And the ONE set I flopped? It was the 99s against Rekrul on the 2nd day where I was oversetted and folded on the turn (probably my best play of the trip, though not that outstanding). I have spoken to him since and he confirmed 100% he had a set of As on the flop and bet the flop hard hoping I've make a move or had caught something big (like AK, AQ, or a set).

EDIT (July 2): Garrett pointed out I actually hit another set in an early story that I forgot about. He's obviously right, I forgot about that short-stack one. So, I hit TWO sets. One I oversetted a guy with AA vs 99, and the other was the exact reverse mentioned above.

For some reason, I've been carrying around a large amount of frustration everywhere I go. Getting donkeyed (either by my own bad play or someone else's) out of every tournament hasn't helped. I hate being done a tourney at 4-5pm and not even feeling like poker anymore, but with nothing else to do. It really hasn't helped my game.

If you could have asked me if I'd be happy making 19k before the trip, I'd have to say "yes", though I'd be a little disappointed in knowing I obviously didn't make any good tourney scores (which I was really hoping for and thought the chances were decent). I haven't played well. I can't say I haven't been lucky because I came THIS close (put your fingers really close together and that's what I mean by THIS close) to going busto on my 2nd day. Winning that 40k pot afterwards is enough luck for the week. But, like I said, besides that I've just had to deal with constant frustration and running really cold.

I don't feel any pride from this trip. In fact, I've felt like a donkey at the tables more often than a professional. I haven't been focused and I haven't been sharp. I've been unprepared and have not made good decisions in the heat of the moment. June has been a horrible month, I've been running quite bad, and playing even worse. And somehow, by some miracle, I'm up a tiny bit of money, maybe 2k with online and live combined. Anything that sounds like complaining isn't really, I'm just stating facts and observing how I feel about it all.

I think the truth of the matter is I just need a little break from poker. I'm gonna turn into one of those old grouchy dudes at the table who just seem to hate life in general (well, no I won't, but I bet this is how they started towards that). I'm only going to play when I really feel like it. Like I said, maybe just once or twice while my family is here, but maybe not even at all. We'll see how it pans out and how much time I have.

When you play poker for a living, and when you're running bad, you are ALWAYS running bad. Even away from the table, when poker shouldn't matter, I can put it aside and enjoy the other things in life, but I'm still running bad in the back of my mind. I still feel that frustration and anxiety. I'm not saying this because it's a huge problem in my life, it isn't, I can deal with it. I think it's just a consequence of living this lifestyle and one of those obstacles you have to overcome to be successful. Every occupation has it's stresses, pitfalls, and issues you have to deal with in order to maintain a happy lifestyle away from work. For now, I think I just need to re-evaluate everything and learn to be READY to play when I do. That means I have to feel like playing, and I have to be ready EVERY SINGLE HAND to play properly.

So, enough babbling. I made 19k on this trip and that's a good thing. I'll take it and consider myself lucky (which sounds weird after claiming I ran bad, but whatever). I won a 40k pot which was an absolutely awesome feeling. I played a short while with Phil Ivey and took down my only pot against him on a semi-bluff (he had nothing obviously). I met a lot of cool people including professional athletes, Internet pros I can finally put a face to, and other stand-up folks from all around the world. I've had a good time with Angst and Quentin. I learnt a little about myself, and a lot about my short-comings. I feel humbled and I think that's a good thing.

My family arrives tonight. I've missed my wife and son....excruciatingly at times. And that's also been a good thing for me as it's easy to take life, and the people in it, for granted in your day-to-day routine. We're staying at the Desert Rose Resort. I have a ton to do today including renting a car, buying groceries, getting the room all ready, picking them up from airport (I have no idea where I'm going on the roads), etc.

I sincerely thank everyone who has messaged me on here, the PCH message board, phone text messages, and via e-mail. They've all been encouraging comments and congratulations and I'm glad the time I spend on these updates and on the message board are not wasted.

I will continue to update occasionally for the 2nd week of the trip, but like I said, I don't expect there to be much poker. We'll see though, who knows when the itch will come! :) PEACE!